How To Make A Budget As A Seminarian’s Wife

1.  Attend Financial Peace University and learn how to set up a zero based budget.  Merrily try to implement this system to better control your monthly spending.

2.  Realize that because of your poor choice in college majors and your inability to commit years to an organization or business so that you can get promotions and whatnot, the only job you could find does not pay enough to make ends meet despite the fact that because your husband is a full-time student you are the bread winner for the family.

3.  Start thinking of ways to live more frugally and better the cash-flow situation.  Some solutions are as follows:
-Implement a day of fasting to cut back on the grocery bill.
-Start looking around your home for things to sell and realize that you don’t really have anything valuable.
-Try to strike a deal with the landlord to see if you could get a cheaper rent if you moved out of the apartment for the summer and lived in a tent.
-Decide to return to school in order to study a major that would teach you how to develop a teleportation device in order to cut back on fuel purchases.  Of course, you can’t afford to return to school, so you first must develop a time machine in order to do over your undergrad studies with the aforementioned major.  TARDIS, anyone?

4.  Realize that despite your best efforts and all the unnecessary dollars cut out, you are still short cash this month.*  Go into a fit of despair in which there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

5.  Receive an unexpected check from a supporting congregation two days later with a happy note saying, “Hope this helps!”  Breath a sigh of relief that the budget crisis is over. . . for this month.

*Just a note so you don’t completely pity our household’s financial situation, my husband and I have never been completely out of money.  We’re trying to learn how to spend within our monthly income to form good practices for the future but do have a little money set aside to fill in the holes in any given month.

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