The First Marital Moving ExperiencePosted: August 13, 2011
My husband and I are celebrating our first anniversary tomorrow so it’s easy to reflect on what we’ve learned this year. We’ve survived some rough classes, a not-so-great job, financial instability, and a very long winter. We’ve learned when to leave each other alone and when we have to force ourselves to talk about an issue (admittedly, we’re still working on this). We’ve even managed to balance the housework and I was surprised to learn that I would not be master chef in our abode, which is fine by me. Yes, I think we can safely say that in a year we’ve faced some tough issues while strengthening our relationship.
But now we’re moving and this experience has been, well, “special.” When we moved out here, we were newlyweds. We didn’t pack our things together–he was a dorm student living at a camp all summer and I had left my apartment three weeks prior to getting married. Therefore, this is our first joint move.
You see, for me this move makes move number three in the past four years. I know exactly how I pack things, what order I pack them, and how early I start packing. My method works and therefore I find it a superior method that should be used by all. Unfortunately, my husband doesn’t see it this way. Honestly, I don’t see why he doesn’t defer to me as the expert here. Probably because my “superior method” may be considered “insanely methodical.” It would slowly drive him nuts.
Alas, I’m a stubborn person and for the last week and a half I’ve been utilizing my method of packing. Consequently, about half the apartment is packed. Likewise, I’ve slowly been getting more and more upset that my husband has not changed his entire outlook on organization to switch over to my method. Here I’ve managed to pack half the apartment and he’s only talked about his ridiculous plan to pack the week before we move. It’s easy to understand why we had an argument last night.
It started along the lines that I was angry because he hadn’t packed anything while I’ve already packed boxes and boxes. I work hard during the week and on my days off I’ve been packing. I was tired and I wanted him to finally start helping. He then tried to explain his philosophy about thinking things through before doing it and not necessarily starting a job early, especially when he’s planning it out. He then said, “There was no real pressing reason to pack this week; I know I have all of next week off to pack. So I didn’t pack. Does that make sense?”
“No,” I replied. He sighed and started to explain everything again. “Oh, I understand what you said,” I interrupted, “I just don’t understand why you would want to do that.” He then explained again that he wasn’t doing anything next week and could pack then. Likewise, he pointed out that all my previous moves had been done while I was still working and that all my packing experiences had to be balanced while maintaining a full work schedule. I had never had a full week to commit to packing. Finally, he reassured me that the packing would get done, even if it wasn’t on the schedule I wanted.
So, after all was said, I can begrudgingly admit that he does have a point–he does have a large chunk of time to pack. We probably didn’t need to start packing so early, despite the fact that it doesn’t follow my packing timeline. So, by the end of the night we had worked through another marital issue, go us. And while we still haven’t experienced all moving issues, the good news is that we get to do this again next summer and will actually have experienced a move together. Perhaps after this next year we’ll better understand each other’s methods and avoid another argument.
Or I can spend the next year convincing my husband that my superior moving method is really the only way to pack.