Waiting for Vicarage

Well, today’s the day of the vicarage informational meeting, kicking off the vicarage placement processes and opening up the opportunity for a whole lot of worry about the future.  My husband and I actually started the process last year, so I feel adequately prepared to ask my husband the right anxiety-filled questions:. When is the placement service?  How much will the congregation help with the moving expenses?  What will happen to our things if we receive a furnished vicarage?  Will the congregation help me find a job?  What will I do all day if I can’t find a job?  What happens if I can’t make any friends?  What if  I dislike the congregation?  What if the congregation dislikes me?  What if the church basement ladies invite me to a craft night and I admit that I don’t craft and don’t really care to learn and they go tell the supervising pastor that the vicar’s wife is snobbish and uppity in her ways and therefore the pastor shouldn’t pass the vicar because he wouldn’t make a good pastor with a wife like that?  How many more questions can I bombard you with before my neurotic tendencies drive you completely crazy?

Next, my husband will spend the next several weeks trying to convince me that the vicarage placement is fun.  “We can be placed anywhere in country and if we don’t like it, we’ll come back at the end of the year.  It’s a chance for an adventure,” he’ll say.

I’ll reply with, “I don’t want to go anywhere in the country and I don’t want an adventure.”

“We could go to Florida.”

“I don’t want to live in Florida.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s Florida.”

“Texas?”

“No.”

“Canada?”

“NO!”

And then he’ll try to tell me that vicarage is meant to be a learning experience and stretch our comfort zone.  I’ll tell him that I think getting married and moving to different towns four times in five years will be enough of a learning experience without trying to get placed in Timbuktu and the last time I stretched my comfort zone I completely snapped.

Finally, when the wives get together the topic of vicarage placement and calls will inevitably come up and many wives will be like me, fretting and worrying.  However, there will always be that person telling us that we shouldn’t worry about the future because God is taking care of us and fretting about what will happen won’t help anything.  Then I get to deal with guilt about not having enough faith on top of fretting and worrying about what will happen next year.

So you see, I have this whole second-year wife thing all ready to go.  I should take notes this year on how to be a fourth-year wife so I’ll be set when we come back from vicarage.

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3 Comments on “Waiting for Vicarage”

  1. […] The thought of going out on vicarage terrified me from the beginning of second year.  The unknowns of the process petrified me and the thought of facing a congregation of strangers made me panic.  But I had a plan on how I would stay in control.  There were two things I knew absolutely could not happen during vicarage:  I could not become a housewife* and I could not spiral into anxiety and depression like I did after our first move.  If I could prevent these fears from forming, then I would survive vicarage. […]

  2. […] for how I’m feeling, I haven’t had a major freak out like I did during the start of the vicarage process.  Perhaps it’s the drugs doing their job, perhaps it’s that we’ve been through […]

  3. […] Life lesson for this month:  Not everything in life is like a cross country race.  Rather than facing the final two weeks with excitement and while losing the concern about the future, I instead discovered that with every passing day the anxiety has heightened.  Not only that, unlike the previous six months, it is now impossible to put vicarage out of my mind.  It looms in the future as a big blank space waiting to be filled with the wheres and whens (and a little bit of  hows and whos).  People are becoming more and more inquisitive about where we are going, to which we can only respond, “We really haven’t the slightest idea.”  Throw on the fact that assignment night is not the end of the “Waiting for Vicarage” saga since we still actually have to move (again), and I’ve become more worried and melancholy then when this first started. […]


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