Waiting for Vicarage: The New YearPosted: January 8, 2012
One of the strangest things about seminary life is the constant state of transition. We spend second and fourth year anticipating where we will live the next year and what our husbands (and we) will actually do when we get there. Consequently, the calendar change for the new year also solidifies the fact that our anticipation is so much closer to fruition than we ever imagined with the old calendar.
So where does that leave me? I’ve readily admitted my fears and worries about this grand adventure that is the vicarage process, so it would be easy to assume that with the flip into January I would go into overdrive mode and pretty much explode (*insert image of me sparking and then bursting into flames*). Surprisingly, this isn’t the case. While my concerns haven’t shifted into faithful trust of God’s will (I’m working on this), nor have I restrained my urge to make a face whenever people mention the placement process (okay, okay, I’m not working on this), I’ve observed a different phenomena throughout December and into the new year–my husband’s increasing excitement.
In the midst of my worry and stress about what vicarage will do to me I often forget that this is more than a necessary step for my husband to become a pastor. It’s a year where he gets to do the things he enjoys most about the seminary on a daily basis–preaching, teaching, and caring for God’s people. Despite my anger at the seminary system and the pressure it puts on families, I could never ask my husband not to do this because of his evident joy as he gains more responsibilities at church. To ask him to leave the seminary and not become a pastor would pull him from his aspirations and abuse the gifts that God has given him. So with the beginning of 2012, better known as the year we go on vicarage, I begin to feel opposing emotions. The fear, worry, and anger remains, but among those feelings is the smallest flutter of excitement of what vicarage will bring for my husband.