The Case of the Missing Rubber Cement or How I’m Slowly Losing My Mind
Posted: February 29, 2012 Filed under: I'm Stupid
The girl I watch has a big book project due in about a week and a half. Last week she cheerfully asked me if we had any rubber cement so she could glue her text in her book when it was ready. So, being a diligent caretaker I immediately added “rubber cement” to my shopping list and included a trip to Target in my weekly agenda. This past Friday I went to Target and very distinctly remember putting the rubber cement in the cart. I remember crossing “rubber cement” off my shopping list. Therefore, when the girl I watch asked Friday afternoon if I had remembered to buy the glue, I gave her a very confident affirmation.
However, today the girl reach the point in her project where she needed the rubber cement and I could no longer find the bottle. I quickly searched the office supply basket and was puzzled when I couldn’t find it. No matter, I figured that it was in the arts and crafts basket. But then I was really confused when it wasn’t there either. Then I realized that I had very obviously placed it in the basket on the kids’ work table. Why hadn’t I thought of that immediately? I realized once I searched that basket that I hadn’t remembered right away because the stupid glue wasn’t there. By this point I’m beginning to reach the brink of bewilderment–I know I bought that glue, I remember looking at it in Target and I remember putting it in the cart! I frantically went to the paper cupboard in hopes that I had in a fit of insanity placed it there instead of its rightful spot. Nope, not there. . . Perhaps in the battery basket that is just above the office supplies basket? Alas, the rubber cement wasn’t there.
I had reach the point where I no longer had a logical guess about the location of the glue. To prove the fact that I didn’t imagine that I had bought the rubber cement I dug out the receipt. I quickly scanned the items only to realize that I had in fact not bought any rubber cement. But how? I know put it in the cart. I know it, know it, I KNOW it! And no, I’m not crazy, I’m not crazy, I’M NOT CRAZY!!! BUT WHY IS THE #$%% RUBBER CEMENT NOT ON THE RECEIPT?!
Just as I’m ready to call someone to take me to a lovely padded room, the solution presents itself like a flip book. I’m standing in the checkout line. *flip* I’m putting my cart items on the belt. *flip* I pull out all of the big items. *flip* The rubber cement bottle rolls to the corner of the big cart. *flip* I pay for the items and leave. *flip* The rubber cement lies in the cart, unpaid for and forgotten.
With that vision the case of the missing rubber cement is solved, but this is a small comfort since I now know that I am losing my mind.