The Kitten Obstacle Course

At the beginning of April our two resident farm cats had kittens.  Much to my excitement, both momma cats decided to have their litters on our porch, allowing me to observe the ten kittens up close.  Now the kittens are about five weeks old and have become fast moving fuzzballs running rampant on our porch.  For the most part I don’t mind the kittens being so close to the house except when trying to get in or out of the front door.  The kittens aren’t allowed in the house, so naturally that’s where they want to go whenever the door is open.  Likewise, the kittens are small and fast so it’s difficult to stop them once they start scampering toward the openng to the great mystery known as the inside of our house.  After accidentally letting all ten kittens into the kitchen one day, I have come up with a routine to get into the house kitten-free.  No longer is simply unlocking the door and walking in enough, I now must go through the kitten obstacle course.

The first obstacle is getting the kittens to go to the other end of the porch.  This involves waving my hands and talking to them so they’ll think that something awesome will happen if they head my way.  After the majority of them start skidding towards me I quickly move towards the door, making sure to dodge the herd of curious kittens.  After reaching the door, I have to gently and quickly push the straggling kittens to the side so I can open the door.  At this point the faster kittens have realized that I wasn’t going to do anything at the opposite end of the porch and have started to head back towards the front door.  I have to shut the door as quickly as I can, all the while being careful not to close it on a kitten.  Sometimes I’m not fast enough and one or two kittens slip inside.  Fortunately they are so surprised  to actually be inside the house that I am able to scoop them up and toss them back outside.  As a final obstacle, one of the momma cats have decided that she is entitled to check out the house every once and awhile (which I shamefully admit that I might have encouraged this habit), so she’ll slip in the house while I’m battling the kittens.  Then I have to open the door against ten mewing kittens and toss the momma cat over their heads and shut the door, all the while making sure not to shut a kitten in the door.  Once I have the house cat free, I win the obstacle course.

I would say all this is rather annoying but the kittens are just so gosh darn cute.

I mean, really, who could resent this kitty?


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