You Get Used to It

When I was a brand-new seminarian’s wife, I went to the Student Wives Association’s annual Back-to-School Night.  This is SWA’s big beginning of the year meeting.  It’s also the first time that the wives regroup after all the summer moves take place.

At any rate, this even occurred a couple of weeks after my husband and I moved to the seminary as a married couple (he had already attended classes there the previous year).  We had been married less than three weeks prior to the event and I was still trying to figure out how to be both an adult and a wife (I can’t claim that I’ve figured it out yet, but I’ve now embraced my ignorance).

I stood in a crowded room where I knew a handful of acquaintances.  Bewildered, I tried to make small talk.  That’s when a wife came bustling up to introduced herself to me.

intense wives

I changed the name of the wife for confidentiality purposes. I’m not aware of a sem. wife named Jane. Maybe she is out there. If so, I’m sorry I used your name, Jane!

Keep in mind that prior to coming to the seminary, I was a college student.  Not only that, most of my fellow students weren’t married and certainly didn’t have children.  This wife’s enthusiasm about her relationship and fertility freaked me out.  It didn’t help much that it seemed like most of the other wives had a babe on their hip or looked pregnant.

However, I eventually got used to the seminary culture.  My jaw doesn’t drop every time I find out someone is pregnant.  Not having children of our own can sometimes be awkward for my husband and me, but I don’t get freaked out by the ridiculous number of babies toddling around campus.  In fact, they can be kind of fun.

Every once in awhile a first-year wife/fiance will brighten when they hear that I don’t have children.  “Wow,” they’ll say, “That’s great because it seems like everyone here expects you to have kids!”  Most of the time I simply shrug and explain, “You get used to it.”  And truth be told, they’ll most likely have a child of their own soon enough–very few remain immune to baby fever at the sem.

P.S.  If you are introducing yourself to others like Jane did to me, please tone it down a bit–you’re freaking out the newlyweds.


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