Like everyone else, our December has been busy. My husband’s schedule has been filled with sermon-writing, shut-in visits, service planning, and Christmas program rehearsals. I’ve been rushing about purchasing Christmas presents, writing letters, and managing that *little* task of caring for Babykins.
Despite the seasonal chaos, it’s hard not to be a little bit excited by Christmas this year because it’s our first “forever” Christmas. For the first time in our married life, we are able to say, “Wow, we’ll do the same thing again next year!”
The Christmas tree will go up in the same living room (okay, it won’t be the same Christmas tree because our cats have been set on destroying the cheap $20 tree I bought my sophomore year of college).
While our Christmas lights on the house look off balanced because we don’t own an outdoor extension cord, it’s no big deal because we can do better next year.
The church’s Christmas program seemed a bit. . .unusual to us, but perhaps next year it will seem a little more familiar.
On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I’ll sit in the same sanctuary that I will sit in next year, hearing my favorite pastor preach. 😉
When it’s time for the Christmas decorations to come down, I will store them rather than pack them for a move.
All of this is made even more special since it’s Babykins first Christmas (even though she may very well fuss all day).
Of course, we have no real way of knowing what God has planned for us, but we’re working on the assumption that we will be here for awhile. So, even though it doesn’t feel like it yet, we are finally home.
(You know, aside from the idea that we are but strangers here, heaven is our home. 🙂 )
I have been told many lies about raising Babykins.
Okay, “lies” might be a bit harsh–they are more like untruths. Untruths stated with such certainty that it’s hard not to be crushed when they don’t happen. Things like:
“Just wear her in a carrier! She’ll be content and you’ll be able to get things done.”
“It’ll get easier at 6 weeks.”
“Nursing is great because you can sooth your baby.”
“Let sleeping babies lie” and “She can’t be hurt by crying.”*
Then there’s the biggest untruth of all:
“Trust you instincts. You’re her mother, you’ll know what’s best for her.”
Because I don’t know what’s best for her.
I don’t know if I have an especially fussy baby or if I’m simply not coping. I don’t know if she has acid reflux, gas issues, or typical baby tummy troubles. I don’t know when she’s tired and hungry, tired and gassy, or tired and just won’t sleep.
The not knowing is almost paralyzing. And that’s why yesterday–despite my nearly dry prayer life–I found myself crying while bouncing with a fussy Babykins on the exercise ball and begging God to have mercy on both of us.
*These may be true if Babykins wasn’t so small and gained weight faster.